My own honesty requires me to be true to myself. With a simple statement from a friend I heard the challenge. “Don’t ignore God,” was all that was said, and the ripple effect of the stone thrown into the pond sent me thinking. When the clean water was still, I could see my face in it so clearly. My reflection of how I was living my life was a smile.
Splash, and the rock of my salvation asked me a question. Did I hear Him correctly? Was He disappointed in me? I thought I was working toward my life being in order. I thought I was doing His will. I know I am not the most perfect of followers, but a doubt was cast and I had to ask, “am I really listening?” Grace seemed to fit in the question. Grace was my answer to everything. Failures… grace. Victory…grace. Confusion…grace. But what about obedience? What about sacrifice? What about going back to church? I missed the worship but not the stares or the “hey, are you coming back to church again?” as if I lived in the gutters with other prodigal sons. After all, we “sinners” need to stick together, right?
Still the question remains. Is there some form or action I am doing that says to God, “I am ignoring You”? See no evil. Speak no evil. And, with my fingers in my ears (not listening to God), hear no evil. What is God asking me to do? What am I ignoring?
We all know the areas of disobedience in our lives. We can ” I am addicted” or “thorn in our side” the compromises to death. Sometimes those decisions of “wrongs” have a way of producing just that: death. We have a choice, but it’s an un-peaceful feeling, living on the fence. What if we slip off to the wrong side, the wrong way of living? What if we become the taste of lukewarm water on a hot summer day? He will spit me out? Have I… decided, it’s time to follow Him? Or be left behind never fulfilling our purpose? Pondering….My honesty requires me to be truthful to myself. Am I?