The revelation of your own shadows is revealing your secrets. You know who you are. The path in front of you has shade trees, swamps, and grass. But wandering around again, you fall into the ditch. Why can you see your shadow on a cloudy day? No one around you understands each decision that leads you astray, but you’re enjoying the pain of your pleasures. Facing yourself in the mirror is a delightful stumble. So here you are again….
What a cloudy judgment for an over-stimulated mind, you know who you are. For the first time in life you are recognized as an angel with the activity of walking little old ladies across the street. Doing whatever is right in front of you as a symbol of love and kindness to strangers. But then the venom of a rabid dog takes control and the lost part of your humanity starts a war. Just like every day of the week, you fight the good fight. Sometimes a win sometimes a lose, but now you are just beginning to understand the emotional decision that pushed you into the ditch. This time it was dry and the dust was easily brushed off. Maybe a skinned knee or torn jeans, but no significant damage and you’re back on the path of righteousness. Being the man you always dreamed you could be.
But then you see the problem of dreaming. Dreams are not the reality you are faced with as you stare into the mirror. You know who you are, but still refuse to be who you might become. Change is going to happen whether you like it or not. So here we are again…you know who you are!
Trembling is the enjoyment of the stumble. Trembling is the emotional rush you create with each decision of tripping. Can anyone see you on the inside? You are safe from the piercing eyes of the sacred religious, but then God might know what’s going on and you think to yourself, should I hide? I do it all so well, and I told myself this lie before. So the following morning when all is forgiven the new day starts. Prancing into action the day begins with a search and a mirror, a prayer and a tear. You know who you are.
Are you the righteous walker of little old ladies? Are you the rabid dog? Are you the white snow from heaven or spilled blood? Dramatic isn’t it, to say all those things about yourself knowing you are them all? White glistening sparkles drenched in blood, yet smiling as you walk, moments of pleasure and love. This is the title of your message. How do you end this argument? Choices, decisions, emotions, and logic all mixed into the human heart that makes a brain steaming with confusion. What a batch of human but my soul is not lost. You know who you are?
Now facing the day as a scrambled egg, some on your face and some spilled on the floor. Thank God for dogs who clean up the mess and never bite you. It’s hard to start again. What if I fail? What if I don’t understand what I should do next? I hate the moments of decision. Work or play? Fishing or sport? Traveling or helping someone else with their fears? The confusion of “you know who you are” still feels like thick fog and I can’t see what’s next. I don’t know how to change this. I tried a few times and gave up, then back on the horse that threw me. Relentless adjustments to the emotions of failing to try (or is it trying to fail?). Whatever the decision, I did it before and here I am again. Full circles of spinning pushes back the fog and now I see the ditch I am laying in. I have an anchor chained to my neck but I am not drowning. It only feels this way. Here I am again.
My madness has to find an answer that will adjust the decision I face myself with. I decided to break the mirror, walk in the ditch through the swamps– even if the grass is long and has wood ticks. I decided little old ladies are to be loved and tears are a sign of change. I decided I like my pain that caused my pleasures and my heart might be capable of biting like a rabid dog, but I don’t have to. I have a choice. And I know who I am!