I think it’s a question that many who believe in grace ask themselves. What is God thinking about me? What is the truth about what will take place on the day I die? Is there going to be an audience cheering me on into an eternal reward and what, out of all the chooses I made in life are going to be the final factors that cause the pearly gates to open and I am excepted into glory? Or not.
What about how I live life? What about the “now” of growing? We are guided by human parents with faults. And then there is the curse, of the sins of the father being passed down onto the third and fourth generation. I remember a time that I believed God spoke to me and said, I would be the one to break the curse and rise above it. I did in fact do that exact thing. I have no blood-born children. I still believe to this day God spoke this to me, and I learned many times God answers prayer in a way we might not expect.
So what is God thinking? Better yet what am I thinking? If I am going to grow into being my best, I think, it starts with thinking. If a rat is a rat, who thinks like a rat, then he will act like a rat, he’s a rat. But what if the rat believed he was much more. What if his self perspective was that of a lion? Is that the nature of how he would act? Proud and strong, top of the food chain? A great protector of his pride, his family, a king.
Oh you have such little faith, why do you believe the mistakes of your parents? Did your father once say you will never amount to be anything. You are a nothing. “You never tried on the day you took the exam to enter the military and failed,” But you did try, you tried the best of your very best and still failed. And the great authority you looked up to tainted your perspective of who you could be. You are a rat, and each day of life, each time you fail, a stone is placed on the wall guarding your heart until the great wall of protection has become a self built prison. But you are safe.
The tiny world of your tiny mind is now more like a demolition crew working on taking down a building. One lie at a time with real truth being revealed. Somehow the foundation of protection has a few cracks and God placed just the right people in your life at just the right time. Love seeped in and tears flowed out. The washing of the water of the word.
A friend knocks at the barricaded doors of your heart. His vote of confidence in you gives you hope. His support points out the good in you and the qualities God planted in your personality before you are born. With a tiny spark of love, self worth feels like a new thing, a new experience and warmth that is better than roasting mash-mellows on an open fire.
What has begun to happen? What is this feeling? What is this value you see about yourself? Is my mind playing tricks on me? You are a rat, now think like one. But the Lion of Judah roars, and the truth of what God say echoes down the hallways of your heart and the foundation of all you believed about yourself is shacking and crumbling. The massive quake destroys the lies you believed about yourself, and now all is ruined, all is exposed and the little child feels more naked and afraid then ever before.
The only thing left standing is a doorway. Outside is a soft knocking and you can hear a gentle voice whispering. Can I come in? God has begun his work, and the Holy Spirit has started taking all the brokenness of failures and restructure everything. Salvation.
Why would God give a rat like me such a wonderful gift and expect me to share it with the world? And the voice speaks and reminds your heart you are loved, protected and you don’t have to be afraid.
The epiphany of what has been planted in your heart begins to become a believable event. You have decided to follow after peace and have allowed others to love and support you. With each day change is taking place and you slowly struggle out of the cocoon and begin to become something new. Someone who has a self value based on a belief system that stems from being loved.
The love you have received is the greatest gift you have learned to share. The days grow warm and the spring rain begin to water all that God has planted. You bloom, and bear fruit and produce seeds that can be planted in another s life.
The tormented mind of a lost child who had no hope of being anything is becoming a gift and a source of light that can not be hid. The masters plan is being developed with each choose, each tiny decision to step out of the box of self protection and the changes take place as the mind begins to think differently.