What if Today?

What if today was the day? The day that everything changed, the day that something ended and something started. The day you died or the day a new life was allowed to be born and the mother wanted her child. What magnificent decisions can be made today that will change the future of your life and perhaps effect the life of another? Time is about to tell….
I don’t have a single clue if today is the day I will break the rules or if today will be the day I finally decide to follow them. But I do know that there must be a few rules to bend, a few that will allow the human inside of me to be as real about life, as I am about death. Sometimes I wonder if I can survive and submit to the will of my greatest hopes.
I remember as a younger man the desire of my heart was to find one wife who would love me no matter what terrible thing I would do, and the universe decided to grant my wish. I will never be able to understand the deep happiness I feel each and every time I laugh with my wife. We share a bond that increases with each smile and each tear. I know someday I will have to face the death of it, and I wonder if the universe will allow us to spend eternity together? I don’t know why lately I have felt a greater “wholeness” and a deeper commitment to the safety, security, happiness and welfare of my wife? I know for a fact that she has become the single most important person in my life. When my soul is bleeding, she has a way to heal the wound. She laughs at my dork and understands clearly each time I use a word completely opposite of its actual definition. I require from myself the desire to lay down my life, so she can have the stability she needs to become her best just as much as she has poured her love into my heart in a way the has nurtured me into being the type of man she needs.
We have walked together through many different types of seasons and have decided that no matter what type of storm has “hurricaned” its winds into a destructive situation, the foundation of our marriage is solid. We face life holding each other’s hand. We have apposing giggles; she turns the thermostat up and I turn it down. She turns the light on and I shut it off. We have found a balance in so many things, cracker crumbs in our bed with dog grit and soon she will change the sheets. Laundry, cleaning the house, and cooking consumes her time but I seldom hear her complain about taking care of our home. If I die first, I want her to taken care of in all things, but I am just not sure how to set that up. If she dies first, I will struggle to live. What good thing could ever happen or ever be important again without the Mama. Just the thought of ever being without her make me cry.
Enough of this sad ass story of loss for this message was to be about life. Life eternal or maybe just a moment sitting in a chair with a dog on my lap drinking the wife’s strong witches brew of coffee, and hearing the lady I love talk about going to Wal-Mart. She is forever shopping, looking at shoes or winter boots, or the next set of scrubs needed for work. And of course, the words farts & poop are in every conversation. LOL, I am fulfilled in the area of marriage. There are things I must do to take better care of myself and consider them a responsibility so I can maintain my health and be readily available when my wife needs me. She needs me just as much as I need her, together we will continue down the path. I hope my example in front of the world and especially my step sons shows them the importance of nurturing a relationship into a type of bond that gives, so one can receive in return real love and not just over the counter affection. So… what decisions today will grant me the best direction for my marriage? Time is about to tell.